Day thirteen of the writing streak
I realized that every time I sat down to write this week, it was always at such a late hour that I had to fight not to fall asleep before getting my writing session in. That’s why today I made sure to get my writing done as soon as I had completed my work day and had come back from my afternoon walk with my dogs.
It was nice to write at an earlier hour. I appreciated feeling fresher and more awake for it.
Nevertheless, I’m not sure I’m very happy with what I wrote today. This is the third day in a row that I don’t feel satisfied after my writing sessions. I’m trying not to pay it much attention and to push through, because I know how dangerous it can be if I let these feelings take over, but the fact that it’s been three days during which I wrote almost 3.000 words that I am not very happy with, is starting to get to me.
I think that the reason why I feel unsatisfied with my work is because I took a wrong turn in my story a few pages ago, and I think that now I’m trying to go along with something that isn’t right. The more I think about it, the more I think I should go back to the last point I was happy with, and rewrite the story from there, but my dilemma is that, apart from the fact that I’m really trying not to delete or rewrite too much during this discovery draft, if I do decide to delete those 3.000 words and start over, I will end up below my 60.000-word mark, which was a really important milestone for me, and which I don’t really want to lose. Plus, even though I have the feeling that my story is on the wrong track right now, I can’t be sure that the next path I lead it towards will be the right one… What if I end up writing something I’m even less happy with?
So yeah, I’m struggling a little bit and I don’t know what to do. Should I push through and keep going, or should I rewrite the part I’m not happy with, and hope that the next draft will come out better?
In all honesty, the latter option sounds more appealing to me right now, but the fact that I have fallen into endless rewriting circles in the past scares me a little bit and I worry that allowing myself to rewrite this block will be like opening the door back to that bad habit… But at the same time I know that pushing to continue with something I don’t feel happy with is just as risky, since it could easily lead me to feel so disappointed that I don’t feel like writing at all…
I don’t know what to do…