Fear vs. Will
I recently reached the 20.000 word mark and although this is exciting, it’s also kind of scary since this is generally the time when I start to doubt my work and whether or not it’s any good or not. Sadly, I have never managed to reach the 25.000 word mark so far, and even though I decided that this time would be different, I think that something within me is afraid of what’s next. I say this because, even though I was really inspired to write these past few days, today I found myself staring at my screen for at least one hour before I was finally able to write anything. Everything within me was shouting for me to just close Scrivener and go do something else, but I am happy to say that today I was stronger than my fear (or maybe more stouborn?) and I ended up shaking myself up enough to finally write something.
In the end, once I got started, I really enjoyed the writing and I wrote about 1,5k words in what felt like a pretty smooth flow. I am aware that for me, one of the hardest parts is usually beginning the writing session, but luckily, I really enjoy it, so once I am in it, it’s pretty easy to keep going.
That’s why today I am very proud of myself, because, even though my head (or rather my worries) kept telling me that I should just “put it aside for now and get back to it later” (which are usually the thoughts that eventually make me abandon my writing for weeks or even months) I pushed through and actually wrote something that I am happy with.
Today’s writing might not have been my best work, but at least I wrote something, and that for me is a huge win because, as the pros say, “you can always improve a messy draft, but you can’t edit a blank page.”
So for today that means: Anaëlle 1 – Fear 0
And that’s pretty much the best feeling I could ask for.
Alright, I will leave it at that for today and I’ll see you again in the next post 😉
By the way, this is my first post ever and I am super excited to publish it!